2022-02-02 09:10:17

Hello,
I am with really I don't even know what to say, well, hard question for me to ask. I feel so bad now, and I need your thoughts guys on what to do next. So I moved to a new public school this year, and I fell alone. It is hard for me to learn the school because I have some problems with orientation in a new areas, so I still need someone to acompany me. Well, and today teacher asked 4 girls to help me out. And I heard them talking oh my god, why us, we don't want and so on. And everyone seems hating me in this school. They don't bully me or something, but they just don't want to communicate with me in any way.
I also have some weight problems, but it is genethic that my weight is big, so maybe this makes the problem even worse. I mean I have friends outside school and everything is ok outside of that, but do you imagine how hard it is to just sit on the bench alone and just scroll the phone?
I had to bring this up, because honestly guys, I need help.

The greatest joy you'll ever learn,
Is to love and be loved in return.

2022-02-02 09:59:26

Hi.
Can you get mobility training in the new area?
To get new friends, I'll highly recommend you to try to interact with your class mates. Join the conversations you feel interested in and try to make new friends in this way.
The worst thing you can do is just to sit there doing nothing, and not trying to do something on your own.
Yeah I know it's difficult if you easily get lost on the new school. But if people see you just sit there without at leased trying, then they won't help you. But if they see you at leased try and you fail, then I think they'll start to help yu if you ask for help, because they see you are at leased trying.

Best regards SLJ.
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2022-02-02 10:30:30

Well yeah, you're right. I should get some more braveness, and talk to them join in conversations, also yeah I have mobility training, I just feel so not brave and so bad when I hear conversations going on how they don't like me. Then yeah, I am just sitting, because... You know.

The greatest joy you'll ever learn,
Is to love and be loved in return.

2022-02-02 11:51:53 (edited by Agent47 2022-02-02 12:10:39)

@1 It is Better to Try and Fail Than Never to Try at all, e.g, lets say you want to go and ask this person to come help you out, what is the worst that could happen, I have been like this for A long time, but what is the worst that could happen, they say no, and they have evry right to say no, as much as you do, when they say no, you think: I'm A blind person with no friends, I'm unlikeable, unloved, unfriended, but that is all in your hedd, no does not mean this, it does mean I can't, why, it might be I have something else to do, it might be that I do not know how to help A blind person

"But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker?  Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?"

2022-02-02 12:29:16

They don't hate you. It's that they don't know how to interact with you.
Having had no contact with a blind person for one's whole life is not uncommon. There are millions who really haven't had to do at least for a second with a blind person. A sparking thought just comes up in their mind, that having no eyes means you're disabled in the truest sense of the word. They haven't got the information that one indeed can do a lot without eyes. This just overwhelms their brain, and that's why you get those reactions.
You can't just form a feeling about someone without knowing them at all. You've just moved there and they are not used to you. I think most of us who went to a public school experienced more or less the same thing. At least the feeling of "they don't like me" is quite present. No, they don't like you, but it's not that they hate you. They don't know how far does blindness afect a person. They put themselves on your shoes and quietly imagine what blindness would actually do to them. The truth is that if one turned blind today, they would not even be able to drink or eat on their own, the two most essential things in our life. That's what your classmates conclude.
Creating a diverse environment where people interact together successfully is not always easy. There needs to be a lot of getting used to, and that surely doesn't come in a day. Interaction shouldn't only come from the dominant players in that environment (your classmates in this regard); you should try to involve yourself in their activities, because that's how they'll get to know you. Otherwise expect to be sitting on your bench alone quite longer than you think. And one thing before I go, appearance is quite important; take care of it.

2022-02-02 12:37:44

@5 quite right, and as this says:
"The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it."
the bit I want you too see is this: most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it, for the sighted, there own matrix, there own system is sight, for us, our matrix is hereing, we are dependent on the system, so we can not think people could go through there life with out the sence of sight or in our case, hereing

"But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker?  Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?"

2022-02-02 15:53:49

@1, now this may just be the chip on my Shoulder, but honestly I don't think most sighted people give a shit about blind people. Most of them don't want to even try to attempt to make any sort of conversation with blind people, or any other person with a disability for that matter. Mainly because they think that we're helpless and can't do anything. So the trick is to proove them wrong. Try opening up a little bit more with them or when they talk shit about you, walk up to those little fuckers and tell them off.

Sound designer and music producer.

2022-02-02 16:03:47 (edited by Chris 2022-02-02 16:29:11)

@7 Completely agreed which is why I view diversity as a massive sham! If we're truly a diverse society, everyone should be included and respected, including blind people and others with disabilities. Sadly, we don't live in a perfect world and never will. All I can say is keep trying to talk to people, particularly those who share common interests with you. I'd like to hope there's at least one or two decent people out there who might at least try talking to you. As I've said many many times, open communication and honesty is key. I'm happy to answer any stupid questions about blindness because we only learn and work through problems by having active dialogue. Don't let people make you feel ashamed because you're blind. You are the way you are and when you accept that, you'll be happier. I'm blind and I have a stutter, but you know what? If people think I'm stupid because I can't see and I sometimes get stuck on parts of sounds in words, that's their problem. There are millions more people to talk to, so keep trying.

Grab my Adventure at C: stages Right here.

2022-02-02 17:06:09 (edited by Lucas1 2022-02-02 17:07:02)

IDK, it seems like a bad idea to go up to them and tell them off if you want to foster meaningful relationships with them. It doesn't really matter who is in the right, it'll just make them talk more behind your back. Just my opinion, but that will just make them actually not like you.

2022-02-02 17:14:37

@9, true, but it's better than letting them talk shit about you while you do nothing.

Sound designer and music producer.

2022-02-02 17:40:35

I don't know, if you have the--I don't know what to call it, so I'll just call it social skills--to pull it off correctly it could turn out fine I guess. But I wouldn't recommend an aggressive approach to somebody who does not already feel confident in social situations because that can lead to unpleasant places.

2022-02-02 18:03:55 (edited by Solus 2022-02-02 18:06:17)

@11, I agree. It's not going to work if you just walk up to one of them and say fuck you, sighted fucker. Quit talking shit about me or I'm going to beat your ass. However, if you walk up to them and say something like, what's your problem? If you want to say something about me say it to my face. This Usually works for me. Also, normally I feel like most sighted people stop talking shit about you if you say something to them about it. Mainly because I do think that they feel bad and go, Oh my god, I just said some shit about a blind person. That must suck for them, I bet being blind sucks.

Sound designer and music producer.

2022-02-02 18:22:58

This is a really, really bad idea.
One thing you should always keep in mind is that kids are assholes. Including and perhaps especially high school age ones. Often ignorance of your life stile can lead them to believe that they're better than you, which is probably exacerbated by the fact that they're being asked to abandon their leisure activities to help you. As others have already stated, try to make conversation with them. Even if you don't have any common interests, coming out of your shell and proving that you are in fact a human being capable of comprehending social norms will give them cause to consider who you are rather than what you appear to be on the outside. Don't get me wrong, if they're actively making fun of you in a nasty way, taking at least a passive aggressive approach might be a better idea, but don't start being a dick just to prove a point. That's going to make you a lot of enemies real, real fast. And until you get the hang of the routs around school, you may still have to rely on their help, so common decency is key.

2022-02-02 18:55:35

There's no need to be an asshole intentionally, the world is full of those as it is. Don't contribute to that group unnecessarily.

Grab my Adventure at C: stages Right here.

2022-02-02 19:04:28

The aggressive approach sometimes works in the short term, but puts you in a bad long-term place.  The non-aggressive approach fails in the short term, but puts you in a good long-term place.  The reason I am a better advocate for myself than my mother is that I never, ever publicly get angry.  The reason I have people who are willing to drive an hour to help me is that I am able to be gracious even in those situations where the blindness is slapping me in the face with it's dick.  I don't have a lot of in-person close friends and I don't do as much socializing as I want by far, but I am in the position of being able to handle any emergency that may come up through 5 or so people who would go out of their way to help if necessary, and being able to go to events because there's a few people who are like "sure, we can just make me helping you find us an ongoing thing".

Now obviously I'm an adult, and high school is different, but I do still think the above is worth saying.  As a blind person, you're not going to have 100 casual friends, and replace 50 of them every year.  You should think about the long term.  Better to find something you actually can bring to a relationship rather than cover up for it with bravado.

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