I can relate somewhat to @1
my life was pritty good as a child. I had friends who actualy cared about me, and my relationship with my family was pritty good.
That all changed when I was 12. My father had gotten him self a job in norways capital, and we were going to move within a year. I was pritty happy, their were not a lot of people I honestly cared about, but I would come to regret my choice later on as the countdown ot the mooving day quickly started.
So when I was 13, I got true friends for the first time, friends who cared about me and who I actualy cared about my self, I was truely happy at that time.
Then we moved to this thrice damned capital and things quickly started going to hell.
Maintaining contact with my old friends got progressivly harder, and it did not help that the new class that I started in had a lot of unsavery people
now I am talking bout ruffions, idiots thinking that messing and breaking the law is fun, people who pick on people younger then them, not a good class indeed.
it would not be until tenth grade however, that life truely started going downhill for me. Isolated from everyone, yes, everyone at school, spending my days alone in a room from morning until the school day was over, and a lot of arguing between me and my dad, with me ending up snapping at him a lot.
it all came to a head in 2020 when I actualy lost phizical control of my anger for a minut, the first time I have gotten this livid with my dad, broke his ps controller by aming it at a wall, and would have done the same with the tv remote before I managed to control my self, trust me, I felt so very bad after this, I bought my dad a new controller, but I knew this would not be forgotten easily.
my mood swings began in ernist after that, I lost my willing to eat a lot, I began snapping at most people, but I never lost control over my anger after december 2020.
2021 was just hell for me. through struggeling with my own mounting depression, from doing my best to not punch my grandmaw face in, my I began having dark thoughts
fair warning, content ahead is a bit dark
my grandmaw was causing a lot of problems for everyone, this sparked a huge argument between me, my sisters, my dad and my uncle, me and my sisters were all for throwing my grandmaw out on the streets, letting her fend for her self, while my dad was not having it.
I entertained the thought of punching my grandmaw in the face, kicking her wheelchare down the stairs, breaking her arms or leggs, just for all the trouble she was causing all of us, sometimes these thoughts would get so bad I would have to go out from the house less I  really hirt her.
Everything I was doing always went wrong, something I would discover late 2021
I became mentaly unstable so I went to seek therapy
therapy is not helping so with in 2 weeks, I will be starting a daily dose of medication, my problems has led me to start smoking, no cigar yet, but I am contomplating starting that when I turn 18
no drinking for me, since I pride my self on not loosing control of myactions, as I know they can have catastrofic efects, no offence to people who drink or anything

The thing is, I know that apparently for some people it has faded away over time, and they suddenly came to the realisation that they are happy again, truly happy, not just fabricating their own happiness to survive.
Still, how does that practically work, because I feel like no matter what I do, long term it's not going to change anything for me.
Is it the case of my perspective?
Do I tell myself that I have a lot of happiness around me?
Do I force myself gently, yet firmly to change my ways of thinking and approaching other people, for example?
And with time, the saying fake it till you make it will indeed come true and it will be like an off switch which will enable me to cope better, because I will always find the positives in my situation and not let the emotional thinking overwhelm me?
Is it all in my head?

@6 I think you are right.
Overthinking is the worst thing a person can do when they're depressed.
It is quite ironic that I learned, and read about it, now I am it's victim though
I definitely don't want to be.

I am hoping that one day I will also have the chance to at least talk to him, and tell him how I feel about al this.
I think it would be so good to just get it out my system.
Then I think it wouldn't hurt so much, even if he felt disrespected.

This is impossible to diagnose, so I'm not gonna do that. Also, not a mental health professional here, though I'm mental-health adjacent so I know a bit of what I'm talking about.

But just as a general bit of advice, here's one thing to understand.

So I understand that your father left, basically cut you out of his life, and now it seems that you may be feeling replaced. He's got new kids now (a little one, and a baby on the way). He said he'd never marry, yet he's with a woman now. All those things seem to have tipped your world over and spilled the pieces everywhere.
The thing you're probably going to have to internalize is a really, really tough pill to swallow. I have personally not had to go through this. But essentially, you'll have to come to terms with the fact that your father doing what he's done does not have to define you. Yes, it hurts like hell, or makes you angry, or scares you into thinking that everyone might betray you one day. And here's the thing. It is technically possible for a person to betray you, at any time, for any reason, or none at all. But you generally have to try and trust, where you can, and as you're able. Your dad is not the only person in your life, even if he was an extremely important one. Basically, don't judge everyone by your dad. Most people won't screw you over that way, just using the law of averages.
And if it helps, frame it like this. If you can't help but see your father as the jerk who basically ruined your life, remember that every day which passes where you can't get out of your rut, he's winning. If and when you succeed, if and when you establish yourself, you'll be proving, to him, to yourself, to everyone, that you aren't just his child, but are an independent, free-thinking person who can come back from trauma and still manage to thrive. Please don't give up.

Greetings all.

I can give you free resources that truly worked for me and they are still working for me to this very day. The mental health carer's manual, the suicide prevention paper, and the feeling easy seminar are what helped me through my own depression. My depression was way worse when I was at school both primary and secondary. They didn't understand that the reason for me being so forgetful and even disoriented even in places I knew well was because of my negative emotions. Ever had one of those days when even making a simple sandwich was the hardest thing to accomplish and you don't know why you cannot do it? Days like that weren't just one offs for me and as a result, I got mostly bad reports. Waking up every day was a chore in and of itself and as for enjoying what life had to offer? What enjoyment was there to be had when it took all one's strength to not burst out crying? What do you do when you feel so sad, so down in the dumps that you'll never feel happy ever again? What do you do when those around you taunt you and make you feel less than an inch tall because in their eyes, you're always seeking attention when the opposite is true? What do you do when all you can see is black clouds while the sun shines for everyone else? What do you do when they ask you what's wrong only to then be told to stop with the doom and gloom because they don't really want to know what's wrong, it was just a rhetorical question? What do you do when you've suffered real trauma at age 11 and you've had professional help and then you're told there's no excuse for you to feel unhappy? When all the help you get only works for a few minutes only for you to finish feeling even worse than when you went in for the counselling/therapy? What if you discover that people's sympathy/empathy are limited and so is their patience? When I brought up the fact that I wanted to commit suicide because I didn't see the point of living because no amount of help actually helped me, I was told in no uncertain terms that 'we don't want to hear that kind of talk' and 'pull yourself together, you're not the only one with problems'. You're just made to feel worse because there are people seemingly worse off than you. They say that one's childhood years are the best years of one's life; nothing is further from the truth. To have one's movements/actions restricted and then being told you have to be grateful that people love you and care enough about you to restrict you for your own good of course. I don't think so. After leaving school, my depression didn't so much lift but it became something else. I did well at college academically but socially, that was a different story. The black clouds didn't lift, they parted to reveal a burning angry sun and I took grate pleasure in exacting revenge on some of my tormentors I assure you. I figured that people always told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get on with my life, so I did and I did not care who I had to walk on to get to the top. It was ironic that when I started fighting back and not caring, people started telling me to 'have a heart' and they asked 'why are you so angry with us' and 'what did we ever do to you' and when I told them they brought up the it was for your own good bullshit again. I only knew I had a problem when I truly got pleasure out of making other people cry. When they asked, 'what happened to the nice boy we raised' I laughed because they did not raise a nice boy. Over the years, I started fighting for the sake of fighting and I assure you I had much vindictive pleasure doing it but for all that, I wasn't happy. I started feeling controlled by my own negativity and I realised too late that I became enslaved to it. I truly did believe in the sith code that about peace being a lie. “Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken. The Force shall free me.” I still didn't take into account that there were bigger stronger bullies than me and I was beaten down to. It all came to a head in 2017 when I was at KFC with my friends who were arguing. I was given a vision of a mirror and I was told to look into it. I had become truly evil, bitter and ugly. I didn't know who to turn to or indeed where to turn. For 2 weeks of April of 2017, I prayed and looked to the religious people for help but not even they could help me. I suddenly remembered something I embraced from 2004 through 2006 and then dropped because I wasn't allowed to just hurt my tormenters if I followed it and I went back to it. Best decision I ever made and day by day I started to change for the better. I then had the honour of talking to my old mentor on the phone and he walked me through the process of self healing. Firstly I was told that I and I alone am absolutely responsible not so much for what happened to me but my own actions and only I can choose what to say and do. Secondly I was told that nobody can rightly tell you to think and feel a certain way because what works for them won't work for me. Thirdly I was told not to harm anyone in the first place nor should I harm them if they say or do anything to me that is negative because not doing so will lessen the negative emotions I feel and I will not be responsible for their suffering; they will be responsible for what they say and do and if their actions are negative then they will suffer for it without me doing anything. Fourthly I was told to not seek justice because doing so is another form of punishment and that would still mean that I'm fighting back. Fifthly I was told to forgive them their trespasses because forgiving them doesn't mean that I condone what they say and do, it just means that I don't hate them anymore and I always give them fresh chances not just every day but every moment of every day. Finally, I was asked to tell other people what I was told and I have done so, I have spread the word as it were. I even made an anchor.fm page whereby people can listen to all the mp3 files including the seminar that my mentor gave me and I created a download page of all the audio files and the html files of my mentor's entire website. You may be asking why I always refer to it, why do I always bring it up? The simple answer is that I've never seen the like anywhere else and no amount of professional counselling or therapy ever worked for me. I didn't feel understood either and people can only work with you for so long before giving up. Not so my mentor. He actually told me from the beginning that he couldn't work with me for very long personally because he was old and was about to die but that didn't mean that he didn't love me like a brother and he prayed that I would follow the right path even when it became hard to do so. Now I am happy and content and no it is not fabricated but real. Yes there are still clouds in the sky but I know that every cloud has a silver lining. As for my depression and anger issues, I am not depressed anymore and I am not angry with my tormenters anymore because they are no longer my tormenters. Oh I do get sad and I do get angry but I don't lash out at other people nor do I rely on them for my emotional needs. That's what my real Mother/Father does for me not my biological or adopted parents. Finally, you asked what to do about the thoughts and emotions that tell you that you're worthless. Talk to and counsel your thoughts. Believe me, it works. I know it sounds foolish but some day, the foreign thoughts that you yourself didn't think but the ones that just came into your head whether you wanted them to or not will thank you. I also pray the star prayers because they suppress the negative emotions just enough so that I can regain control and not be swamped by them. I've done my best to make this post as non-religious and non-spiritual sounding as possible because people don't like that. I also tried my best to convey the message that this is what works for me but if you try what works for me and you don't find that it works for you then you haven't lost anything and I have no problem with people who don't believe what I believe. In short, you do what works best for you.

Kind regards, Amin Abdullah.

In my opinion, your incompatibility with this world is the cause of your depression. The fact that people other than your father cause you pain means that they are not to blame, their humanity is. For most people, this isn't the case, but based on the information that you've given I believe that you're incompatible with this world. The solutions I can think of for that:
Destroy this world and everyone in it. Almost impossible, not recommended. Very selfish, it means that you're the same as everyone else because your father may be refusing to talk to you because of his selfishness because he married a woman. So, if you were to destroy his world, then you'd be sad because of you too and that'd mean you're even incompatible with yourself.

Leave this world. This one I'm not sure about as well, because what if there is something after and what if that thing will make you even sadder than you already are
In my opinion medicine and other things that can make you happy, for someone like you, are just an illusion. Thinking that you're happy because you've found new people would make you a delusional person based on the information you've given.
idk, 6 years. You've been like this for 6 years. What makes you think that there's a real solution to your problem? that's unlikely, but if I'm wrong and there is, can it be found here?

Moderation:
AlirezaNosrati, consider this an official warning.
What you are doing is a really, really nice way of half-suggesting that the OP do serious harm to someone else, or else kill himself. Needless to say, this is absolutely nonsense, and extremely unhelpful.
There's just plain unhelpful mental health advice (go for a walk if you're depressed, pray really hard if you're sad and God will take your pain away), and nobody's going to get warned for that. But you came in here with someone who is clearly struggling, and essentially suggested that nothing he does is going to work, so he ought to either burn it down or end it all. Not only is this extremely inconsiderate, but I'm pretty sure you've trolled before, if not on mental health then on another subject.
Let this be a lesson to everyone else. If you don't have good advice, that's okay. If your advice lacks depth or isn't super helpful, that's okay too. But if you're literally suggesting that a person who's suffering do harm to someone else or harm to themselves, that's not gonna go over well.

Wow ouch @15.  I spent way longer than 6 years to sort out my shit and you know what?  I recently had to add a medication with side effects but before that taking the pills (1) solved my problems and (2) had the same side effects as drinking water, that is to say none.

I sort of bowed out of this thread because OP probably wants/needs something more, I guess spiritual, and I don't get along with spiritual people.  But man.  How about we not advocate suicide?  Gees.

@1 if you need someone to talk too as well you can send me a PN with your discord and I can chat over their.

@1, unfortunately, I have limited experience in mental health, but I know how devistating it can be.
When I was 17, a friend that I was very close with attempted to commit suicide. I spent the better part of an hour talking her out of it, and we eventually got her help.
What I am trying to say here is, don't discount the people in your life. do you have anyone you trust? someone who you can talk to about this? you would be amazed how much a simple thing like talking to someone helps you realize things about yourself.
also @15, I'm pretty sure you're trolling, but this is in no way funny. you making this troll just shows how ignirant you are. So many young adults commit suicide every year and you come here and decide to try and make fun or make light of the situation? If you have nothing good to say, then don't say it, unlike you, I actually know how impactful mental health is and I don't tell people to kill themselves, find something more productive to do.